|
The Church of Our Lady for the Redemption & Salvation of Perpetual
Liars has been granted the authority to minister to the untruthful.
It was founded by His Holiness, the Most Reverend Dr. Jeff La Marca,
D.D., Ph.D.1 who was duly ordained by the Universal Life Church on
the 20th day of January in the Year of Our Lord 2006. It was on
that cold winter day that Rev. Jeff was personally called to the
ministry by our Heavenly Father in order to stop the blatant dishonesty that
has infested our land. In particular, Rev. Dr. Jeff has been charged
with exposing the liars who now plague American schools - both
public and private. Furthermore, he was knighted into God's
service to expose Satan's army of fallen soldiers: those who operate
some of the most corrupt institutions today - for-profit Internet
"universities" and other so-called institutions of higher
learning.
As the Auspicious and Supreme Pontiff of the Church of Our Lady,
His Holiness, the Most Reverend Dr. Jeff La Marca, D.D., Ph.D.1 recently
completed his educational studies with the attainment of the first (of several) doctoral
degrees: this was granted by the Universal Life Church. While this doctorate cost
him a mere $35, the fact remains he already holds three earned (e.g., real) academic degrees from fully accredited universities. Besides, he has actually read the entire Bible and; therefore, deserves recognition for that accomplishment. Then, when
the Lord spoke unto him and urged our founder to acquire the religious titles
he now holds, His Holiness simply grabbed a credit card and made
the appropriate purchases. Of course, he was then able to quickly gather up additional accolades (ordinations and diplomas) to demonstrate his unquestionable worthiness in recognition of his achievements.
Perhaps most important of all is that, unlike charlatans who buy their bogus academic degrees from diploma
mills (those dens of iniquity where for-profit online schools sometimes
shop for their instructors), the Most Reverend Dr. Jeff
La Marca's new
religious credentials "may be issued by bona fide churches and religious denominations, such as plaintiff, so long as their issuance is limited to a course of instruction in the principles of the church or religious denomination." (Universal Life Church v. the United States of America) Obviously, this is in stark contrast to those megalomaniacs who flaunt their fake achievements by purchasing degrees from diploma mills (like Lacrosse University)
to impress others. Of course, as noted above, the titles and degrees now held by our Supreme Pontiff
may be legally (and ethically) used under the laws of the United States of America as genuine religious designations.
Those who purchase their bogus academic degrees from diploma mills and then have the audacity to use them to deceive others are destined for the fiery gates of Hell. This also demonstrates the stupidity of such charlatans - heck, if they really wanted genuine titles that they could use to impress others, they should have done the same thing as our Pastor and acquired them from religious organizations. Clearly, their own idiocy exposes these fakers as children of Satan! Repent, ye
sinners!
Our Pontiff's Credentials
The following certificates serve as testimonies regarding the qualifications
of our esteemed and exalted leader, His Holiness and Supreme Pontiff
of the Church of Our Lady, the Most Reverend Dr. Jeffry La Marca,
D.D., Ph.D.1
Ordinations
Church Charter
Doctorates of Divinity (D.D.)
Doctor of Philosophy (Ph.D.)
Additional Honors
|
Certificates of Ordination |
|
Certificate of Ordination: Universal Life Church |
 |
Universal Life Church
|
This document represents our Supreme Pontiff's first ordination as a man of the cloth. As visitors will note below, he has since been blessed with additional ordinations that further serve as an indication of his extreme holiness. Our Pastor joins many other fine men (and woman) who are also alleged to have been ordained by the Universal Life Church; including (but not limited to):
- The Beatles
- Art Bell
- George Burns
- Johnny Carson
- Tony Danza
- Sammy Davis Jr.
- Phyllis Diller
- Supreme Court Justice William Douglas
- Betty Ford
- President Lyndon Johnson
- Merle Haggard
- Wolfman Jack
- Ann Richards
- The Rolling Stones
- Lawrence Welk
|
 Return to Top |
|
Certificate of Ordination: Church of Seven Planes |
|
Church of Seven Planes |
We liked the title of this Church and wanted to make sure that we didn't miss our plane (pun intended)! Don't forget to obtain your ordination from the Church of Seven Planes today.
(Unfortunately, unlike God's Holy Love for His Children, which is eternal, Internet links often go dead and this one is no exception! At least our ordination is still valid!)
|
| Return to Top |
|
Certificate of Ordination: World Christianship Ministries |
 |
World Christianship Ministries |
On January 31 in the Year of Our Lord 2006, our Reverend received his first genuine Christian ordination. Praise the Lord! We encourage other Christians called to serve in ministries to visit World Christianship Ministries today.
|
| Return to Top |
|
Certificate of Ordination: Church of Living Water |
|
Church of Living Water |
Water is one of the most precious elements that God has given us. As we have a special affinity for Holy water; our Pastor was ecstatic to obtain yet another ordination from the Church of Living Water. Unlike most of the other ordinations he has received, this one required the completion of a genuine course of study. (Yes, our Supreme Holiness completed it.) We are especially proud of the fact that this ordination comes from another Christian Church that provides genuine ministry services to its congregation.
(Unfortunately, unlike God's Holy Love for His Children, which is eternal, Internet links often go dead and this one is no exception! At least our ordination is still valid!)
|
| Return to Top |
|
Certificate of Ordination: New Horizon Ministry |
|
New Horizon Ministry |
We understand that our church is unique due to its focus on perpetual liars and the need to minister directly to their lost souls (which is, in most cases, a lost cause). Even so, we strive to point these sinners to "New Horizons" (one that is not bathed in the light of the furnaces of Hell - the eternal resting place that these liars are currently headed for). An ordination from New Horizon Ministry, a nondenominational Christian Church, has provided our Supreme Pontiff with a spark of hope that he will be able to cast out the demons that infest the souls of all liars.
(Unfortunately, unlike God's Holy Love for His Children, which is eternal, Internet links often go dead and this one is no exception! At least our ordination is still valid!)
|
| Return to Top |
|
Certificate of Ordination: Church of Spiritual Humanism |
|
Church of Spiritual Humanism |
The term "Secular Humanism" is one familiar to most but we're impressed that this church has restored the spiritual back into humanism.The Church of Spiritual Humanism is waiting now to provide our congregation with instant ordination.
|
| Return to Top |
|
Certificate of Ordination: Universal Ministries |
|
Universal Ministries |
Unlike those who buy degrees from diploma mills from fake "universities," our Auspicious Leader just had to acquire an ordination from a real church! And, unlike academic charlatans, we're not afraid to post our "universals" for others to see and review! Those interested in obtaining their own ordination may want to visit the Universal Ministries site and apply today!
|
| Return to Top |
|
Certificate of Ordination: The Temple of Earth |
 |
Temple of Earth |
While our Pontiff does not agree with all of the tenets of the Temple of Earth (they don't believe in God - ugh!), he did like the handsome design of their certificates and diplomas. Not only that, but the price was right - completely free! You may pick up your's today at the Temple of Earth.
|
| Return to Top |
|
Certificate of Ordination: Church of the Latter-Day Dude |
 |
Church of the Latter-Day Dude |
Our Supreme Pontiff has been quite busy and recently realized he hadn't added to his collection of ordinations for a few years. Fortunately, he's an all-around great dude and this one seems to be just perfect!. Okay guys, this one is free so get yours today at the Church of the Latter-Day Dude.
|
| Return to Top |
|
Our Church Charter: World Christianship Ministries |
 |
| Our Church Charter |
Few things have blessed us to the extent that the receipt of our official charter has. The Church of Our Lady for the Redemption & Salvation of Perpetual Liars received our independent church charter (#11118) from World Christianship Ministries on the 31st day of January in the Year of Our Lord 2006. Hallelujah!
|
| Return to Top |
|
Doctorate of Divinity Degrees |
|
Doctor of Divinity: Universal Life Church |
|
Universal Life Church |
This was the very first doctorate obtained by our esteemed pastoral leader. Of particular note is the fact that the Honorable James F. Battin, Judge of the United States District Court, ruled in "Universal Life Church vs. United States" (372 F.Supp 770) that holders of this fine diploma are legally entitled to attach the title "Dr." to their names. It's time for graduates of the diploma mill, Lacrosse University to repent! Unlike their bogus degrees that are used to deceive others, the law permits Our Holiness to use his religious titles legally! While the title, "Reverend Dr. Jeffry La Marca, D.D." may be a bit much for some, it certainly impresses others! Just as important is the fact that our Reverend can legally use his titles - honestly!
|
| Return to Top |
|
Doctor of Divinity: Church of Living Water |
|
Church of Living Water |
Our Pastor is delighted to hold this doctorate from a yet another genuine Christian institution, the Church of Living Water.
(Unfortunately, unlike God's Holy Love for His Children, which is eternal, Internet links often go dead and this one is no exception! At least our ordination is still valid!)
|
| Return to Top |
|
Doctor of Divinity: New Horizon Ministry |
|
New Horizon Ministry |
Adding yet another doctorate to one's collection of religious titles always leads to "New Horizons" - we know that this degree from New Horizon Ministry, a nondenominational Christian church based entirely upon the teachings of the Holy Bible, has certainly done that for His Holiness!
(Unfortunately, unlike God's Holy Love for His Children, which is eternal, Internet links often go dead and this one is no exception! At least our ordination is still valid!)
|
| Return to Top |
|
Doctor of Philosophy Degree (Ph.D.) |
|
Doctorate of Philosophy (Ph.D.): Templar University |
 |
Templar University |
The above diploma represents his Holiness' first Ph.D. Unlike the Doctor of Divinity degrees that he is collecting, this one is completely bogus and is not recognized as either a religious or an academic title. Just the same, it looks pretty; ergo, it's presented here for your viewing pleasure.
It must be noted that the dissertation for this fake degree was on the Identification and Classification of Compulsive Liars and Shysters. (Darwin would have, more than likely, referred to these as mutants.)
Feel free to pick up as many degrees as you wish from Templar University - as we've already mentioned, you can get as many as you like! One word of caution, you must inform all interested parties that these degrees are completely bogus!
|
| Return to Top |
|
Certificate of Title |
 |
Certificate of Title |
As noted above, the title of Reverend was bestowed upon our blessed Pastor, along with all rights, privileges, and benefits accorded to him by authority of World Christianship Ministries as the leader our our independent church.
|
| Return to Top |
|
Minister Credentials |
|
Church of Living Water |
As noted above, the Reverend Dr. La Marca, D.D., Ph.D.1, had bestowed on him the preceding Minister Credentials, along with all rights, privileges, and benefits thereof by the authority invested in the Church of Living Water.
(Unfortunately, unlike God's Holy Love for His Children, which is eternal, Internet links often go dead and this one is no exception! At least our ordination is still valid!)
|
| Return to Top |
|
Certificate of Pastoral Ministry |
 |
Cathedral University |
It was a tremendous honor for our Supreme Pontiff to receive the above Certificate of Pastoral Ministry. Unlike most of the ordinations and titles he has received, this one required the completion of the intensive course of study prescribed by Cathedral University [Unfortunately, the link to this school no longer works and has been removed]. That course of study required the reading a book that was approximately 440 pages in length. (Yes, His Holiness actually read every word.)
The Church of Our Lady would like to note that Cathedral University appears to be extremely sincere in their offerings and provides materials of substance for those interested in their programs. Christians called to the ministry are encouraged to complete the offerings of this fine religious organization. Again, while some of their programs are completely free (including the one our Pastor completed), requirements must be fulfilled in order to earn these certificates! Good Luck and God Bless!
|
| Return to Top |
|
